Proverbs 3:3-4 3 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: 4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
Favor and good understanding with God and man. There is a way to develop relationships so that God and man treat you with loving kindness and understanding (of what you really meant).
Ever really make a mistake and wish you could do it over with the information you now know? Ever wish that you could “re-do” and start over? In these two verses Solomon begins to give his children the specifics of how to have productivity, protection and peace in their lives (v. 1-2). He begins with how to have productivity, length, and peace in your relationships. The secret to good relationships is found in two words: Mercy and truth.
Mercy can simply be described as “not giving what someone deserves.” The person deserves punishment, and should receive the earned reprisal for a foolish or malicious action. Instead, the person is given a second chance – another opportunity to get it right. Mercy does not make you the “door mat” in a relationship, but it gives the the opportunity to restore damaged relationships. Interestingly, mercy is not enough for good relationships, it takes mercy and something else.
Truth is realistically looking at the facts. Truth honestly looks at the situation and describes where the person was wrong. Truth is sometimes harder than mercy. Mercy means you absorb the hurt, but truth means honesty in communication. Unless the truth is told a person never learns and is doomed to repeat the same wrong or hurt. Truth is the liberating fact that allows the other person to learn from their mistake (or disobedience) and move forward and grow as a person.
God tells us that good relationships must have a genuine blend of mercy and truth. People do not care what you know until they know that you care, but just caring is not enough. It takes truth and mercy to be able to really keep relationships.
Mercy is expensive. Mercy demands that you take the loss rather than making the other person “pay.” Mercy allows you to tell the truth without making the other person feel threatened. Truth allows the other person to grow.
In choosing these two words Solomon has revealed a secret. Good relationships are selfless. Mercy and truth focus on the other person, not yourself. Mercy means you have to pay the bill rather than extract it from them. Truth means you have to become vulnerable and open up to their questions and even criticism.
Build your relationships on Mercy and Truth!